We faced a new challenge this past week that – to my surprise – went amazingly well! Not because of meticulous planning, although I can assure you that was done in detail over the past several weeks, but because it – well, it just did! Prayers were clearly answered! I was reminded, however, that we have lived days and weeks and even months in the past where every single day was uncertain, plans were sketchy at best, and outcomes from recommended medical procedures were not viewed as going well! Yet it is still a surprise to recognize the trauma that exists in my mind because of that previous history. What if things do not go according to plan?
In a routine eye exam done a couple of months ago, our Optometrist raised several concerns related to the health of my loved one’s eyes. While glaucoma and macular degeneration are always a concern for someone his age, worries over a potential acute glaucoma attack and significantly narrowed drainage angles in both eyes made dilating them considered too risky to proceed. We were sent to an Ophthalmologist with the recommendation we have a simple laser procedure done to relieve the narrow angles.
That consult resulted in an explanation of the procedure, a review of the medicines used (and not used), and the assurance that even given his other medical challenges, the procedure would be safe and manageable. After a month of healing, dilation to look at his optic nerves would be possible, and with it a better understanding of what exactly is going on. An undertaking that does not get us to an explanation but is a step towards it. Discussion about what we would face beyond the task at hand was viewed to be “premature”.
Sparing you the particulars, the laser procedure this past week was completed in the predicted ten-minute time frame. Eye pressures remained acceptable, eye drops were prescribed, and we even went out to a late lunch. Treatment has been administered as directed since, and there have been no complications … or complaints. No redness, no vision issues, no discomfort, no trauma from the event. The follow-up visit is scheduled, and at least for now we are back to our routine. Except for a few more days of scheduled drops, this first step is in the rearview mirror.
What is of special note is how uptight I was on the day of the procedure. While my research and conversation with the entire medical team assured me this was likely to go well, there was a piece of me that stayed vigilant for the unknowns. Even after the initial procedure, each day I was quizzing myself and my loved one for any indication that something was amiss. Except for the drops needed throughout each day to ward off any inflammation as his eyes heal, we are both moving forward unscathed. That is a tremendous blessing and remarkably good news. Clearly our prayers have been answered!
I suppose part of a family caregiver’s behavior is steeped in our previous experiences, but I think it is important for me to remember that we have already survived things far worse than this. While most of my caregiver responsibilities now center more around upholding the status quo, curve balls can and still do occur as his illness progresses. I suspect that we are far from finished facing these new wrinkles. Yet there were no “what-ifs”, and I need to keep that first in my mind – not only for myself but for him!
We will likely encounter some tough times ahead, but we will face them together as they happen. We will correct our course as we are required to do, and we’ll deal with each situation – if it occurs. I will remind myself, though, that as it did this week things can go wonderfully, fantastically right! Prayers are answered.
UP FOR DISCUSSION: Are you always looking for what can go wrong? Have you trained yourself to hope for the best but prepare for the worst? Does that approach to challenges impact your stress level? Does it impact your loved one’s outlook? Please share your thoughts below.
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